On Pain (IV)
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That is my lord, steereth with cruelness; And every oar a thought in readiness though that death were light in such a case. An endless wind doth- tear the sail apace
Sir Thomas Wyatt
Like insects crawling like water
running on skin of numbness
& tingling strange sensations
the ‘energy plug’ has been pulled
with lots of noise & lights, chest pain
blurred vision burning mouth syndrome
it may help to explain
why some people feel
low in mood, depressed,
frustrated, anxious
worried about things
in the gaping scar affected
to drop down inside
self-management brought together
do you believe in an all seeing god,
a benevolent all seeing god? do you
could you imagine a world
without a god,
would it be this world?
or is there another
opening up somewhere
after this one is done?
do you believe
in blackthorn dogrose field maple changes
get confused or altered in the rain
or an alarm reduced
that won’t turn off
nerve messages get amplified
& made & BIGGER so you feel MORE PAIN
last of the hedgerows to separate me from
grassland finding path edges
it was granted to me
by the zero-sum game
in the triangle of symbols
or outside it
through a sort of twisted allegory
the ‘unlivable’ & the
process of making oneself “lovable”
“recognisable” in the face
a hand of snow
in the fields of changes
how in my throat
a cloud of derk
too sometimes, pink or rose
ego is formed through abjection
expels parts of the self like this
i want to take your sickness
put it inside me the chemical hit
from which the music emerged
its wearied cords that settled on my
scrotal hernia ‘poetic’ bacteria, like the stars
hidden into word.
