Friday 26 May 2023

Would You Shop Your Own Child? (Woolards Eulogy) (DRAFT/UNFINISHED)


Woolards Eulogy

‘It was all good fun until someone

tried to kill a police officer with a fire extinguisher’

Physical keys, numerical codes, complex passwords, 

biometric identification hushes that sloops Sitex 

& what it means to undarken light somewhere 

you have never been, Woollards & Woollards come back

blanching the floor plan hissing rosacea horsehairs

the shrill adherences & graphical projections                  now

aspects of British Business & Professional life are thriving: 

'our legal system is widely acknowledge to be long

on integrity and short on corruption.'

A singular success, 

with a view to causing a gap 

in the crowd below spectrally

to kneel painfully 

this silent mechanism, curls inwards

murmuring the letter breathe of Law

the holding pen exacting 

a brace of bodies

the place from which litigants

(a physical demarcation between the core players

and the areas outside 

that consecrated space) represented by a wooden or brass railing

built in clots through which the will to whisper through is:

(Members of the Jury


– Yr Honour. yr Worship. The nation is in disrepair,

I am from Southend, Essex, 1 decade ago.

Well, at least he won't have to pay student fees

whilst he is locked up. 

He will get all the education he wants and needs

courtesy of you and me. The great English taxpayer.

Ironical isn't it?. He should serve a minimum of 5 years.

The idiot could have killed someone.

He is only sorry that he has been caught.

Well done to his mother though.

She has proved that not all scumbags

come from rough backgrounds. 


Chris the Anarchist,  

–Yr Honour. yr Worship.

Typical right wing rantings by the Daily Mail again.....

what he did was wrong ,but what we have here is a classic example

of this Fascist establishment making an example of the people

who dare speak out against them.

He is a young bright kid who got carried away...

luckily no one was hurt as that would have been a different matter...

but massive  stretch is a future ruined....

i’ve known people do far far worse and get less......

Open your eyes sheeple to whats going on....

and remember Class War...the only war worth fighting…  


–Yr Honour. yr Worship.

Why should you be pointing the finger at us taxpayers,

your trucks not with us? How much will he cost? Prison.

Whilst I don't agree with the system I'm not entirely sure the taxpayer

should fund the likes of this fool!! 


–Yr Honour. yr Worship. I am from West Yorks, UK.

Most jobs that students used to have are now in the hand of Europeans.

Don't you see that the kids of tomorrow who will pay yours

and my pensions but now will be slaves to the government

as they will be indebted for 30 years, look further at this please.

I know what he did wrong but a harsh sentence?!? 

How will he deal with being in prison with low life thugs?

Have any of you making these comments never done something you

shouldn't have.His life is now ruined by that one moment of stupidity. 

Law Abiding of

–-Yr Honour. yr Worship, madame

I drove my large Trojan armour engineering vehicle

from Ringwood, near Bagnam Forest Corner

with my 16 Air Assault Brigade just to get here today. 

It looks like a giant metal lobster in the sun. I heard

this big booming thud on the day, within feet of a Plod.

We could have lost one. Look, here a baby faced yobbo,

most likely wants to study some useless degree,

I bet he will get an education 

on life in one of H.M’s HOTELS.

It's why I attended Army Command & Staff College in Camberley 

& NATO Defense College, I’m finishing my last stint 

as Chief of Staff of Forces Pension Society. 

My adjutant 10 para, my signaller, my Masher,,,..

my kindred flame. I promised Masher. yr Honour. yr Worship. 

My dear dear Masher…that if I died before you, 

I would come & tell you, that I love my country 

& I sank to the bottom of it once but you were there, 

dearest, most tender, Masher. Your lovebite continues with me inside. 

&so this type can be dispensed into the Soul Politic.

& so this type can be dispersed into personal morality.

& so this type can be poured into your neck Geoffrey Rivlin QC. 

With or without whipping Woollard’s

in red blood rain – this type requires specialist disposal

this type can be dispensed into a sewage drain 

this type can be dispersed into the air 

this type can be poured into your neck tie.

And now in numbers our morality was so upside down 

that what many knew in their hearts as correct, dignified

was held publicly to be wrong! Hard work. Thrift. Risk taking.  


Slacking at work. Living off the state. Union mob rule. 


The police have responded. 

Their morale & their morals are improving. 

Just as well an accelerating factor sweet and gentle 

The state, though still far too large and still, 

alas taking far too great a share of the national cake, 

is beginning to respond to the will of the government

The national debate,, into the shape  unreturned

Woollard’s the will of the government

around the house as it lifted the national cake, 

the thin walls 

the complex, breaking furniture & windows & outnumbered 

& as you dry out in the rain, the cascade & its motorcade 

in the tiny pip the idyll of freezing mud

is six silhouetted storied separations:

'i am your, gurgle gaggle of dead beads tight to night

short-lived, very swiftly repented the lives of those loved jeopardised

a spark & injured. I am a loving, caring, gentle man.’

 to be a kind of wall that has a little hole in it, 

& through that hole,, its glassed wastlings fingerhooked 

in a fugue state with which a body 

becomes separated from another body 

in order to bemutter,,

                ing what to tungsten 

or floats opaque when pushed remembering

status cues against the walls, hole


Woollard’s as if over feet &hands 

haloed with or without whipping.


Commander Bob Broadhurst of Trooping the Colour, 

a dying breed. 

At the National Siege Management Gala, his speech:  

–I felt a suppressed inner pain 

a pickering feeling mutter, ing 

to keep the City open for business! 

outside the Stock Exchange slumped in an alley 

on Threadneedle Street,, 

a number of missiles die thrown,, 

a little bird told me down a deer track, 

or was it through a tough thicket of waist-high ferns? 

Nevermind! that we had discovered…… a pretty precious peaceful protest.  

A clearing of sweetly scented camomile 

everything around us was so bursting with life!

Pheasant cocks scurrying through the undergrowth

resin dripping from clefts of the evergreens 

it truly represented brightness itself. 


A snap to life in a gene break down my cenotaph 

its benzene under frosted light 

the petrochemical sheen of feathers bright 

in definite areas removed his shoulder number 

covered the bottom of his face with his balaclava

weeping at the most unexpected things

Woollard’s spectrally be hurt.

Human kindness. Human vulnerability. 

Ringpulls lost pennies gentle patiences. 

Now under your teeth hates 

thumbscrewed intact O demerits,,ss 

logistic regression was used to analyse the measure of verdict 

−a dichotomous variable. 

Results from logit models are presented both in odds-ratio form

& as percentage differences from the baseline condition.

The percentage differences reported are those derived from the logit models,

i.e., they take account of other variables in the model.

Odds-ratios are the most commonly presented measures of effect size.

bits that stick about or twist 

to what is cut along an axis 

to reveal the interior structure,, 

cutlosses as they sunbrighten your lumbar spine

its cascading to crashing illuminated castors 

a body pumps through the footring.    The room,, inclined  

to the Wall  inclined to the Floor 

a dead relation peels away 

rubbing the mudguard Seat Pan its crawling epicures space. 


A worksong for you,, gets horrible yet lightly worsening

under silvered reverses 

under Veolia birch lyrics, as I lay writing this 

an autopsy of my dead relation, 

alone, unrevolts  to a half version having been closed 

in splitting re--appearances

nightscrapped on all fours 

moults a non-rigid exit 

to goetia spells,, a broached paw…verdict. 

would you shop your own child?