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Wednesday, 3 September 2025

Against Mother (script for dramatic monologue) Rough Draft 2



 Urban survival game


So it's just you, no kids, pets, partner. 


You're 35 healthy,, no allergies. 


You have to devise a way of having 

the lowest budget possible

to feed yourself.


(hastily said

long evenings ...

hours of darkness

... sudden urge to


nothing tiny little thing


godforsaken hole before

its time ... 


(clears throat


I have Anxiety because,

I'm an over thinker

I lost my mum, 

suddenly to Cancer. 

(almost as if a sing-song


Sorry to hear that. 

Yes. Terrible. 

Yes. 


I am doing talking therapy 

because my doctor said 

this will probably just be my anxiety.. 

But... but

I have REAL pains. 

its a stabbing pain


I'm going to list my pains 

&& a long buried shame 


Aibu to think the worst??

The worst yes. 

Yes. 

If anyone could tell me 

if they have the same 

and/or they found out 

what was it, please? 


Ok. 

I get pain then sometimes 

I have pain 

when I urinate 

in the morning especially 

the pain travels up to my lower 

left pelvic area.

 

buzzing? 

no part of 

It usually hurts 

to sit down or walk 

its a stabbing pain. 

Remember


Yes. 

Yes. Terrible. 

Yes. 


In my stomach 

it used to be just sometimes 

under my left rib 

the very bottom 

on the left side too 

but this is almost 

a constant pain now. 


 (whispered ) Meant to be suffering ...

ha! ... thought to be suffering ...

Godddddddd 

(like a wretch

... (good laugh) ... 

I have lower back pain struggle to walk more 

& as time goes on. 


have to shuffle before 

I can walk properly 

after sitting down. 

I get mucus in my stool 

sometimes feel 

sometimes like I have pressure 

like I need to do a 

exit but I don't. 

I have been referred to 

gynaecology 

gynaecologists 

ah! 

yes. 

Yes. Terrible. 

Yes. 


but they won't see my until

I take contraceptive pill for 6 months. 

I am also so tired 

even if I get a good 

night sleep.

It's the boiling frog scenario.

the buzzing? ... yes... 


all the time the buzzing  


as if in actual ...

agony ... 


but could not ... 

could not  

all the time 

the buzzing ...

so-called ... 

in the ears ... 

(good laugh) 


Aibu to think the worst????????

I'm not an actively gossipy person,

but I am a people pleaser. 


When people are gossiping 

around me I find myself commenting 

based on what I think they want to hear. 


(ADHD/ASD) therefore often do things to try and fit in. 

All the best people I know are impartial. 


My friend gave up gossiping for Lent one year. She said it meant 

she wouldn’t be able to see me until after Easter. 


the buzzing? ... yes... 

all the time the buzzing  


Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU

but more of I think 

my husband is being 

getting caught up 

in some quite extreme right wing views. 


Complains about how they're coming in, 

being housed in hotels, I'm not sure 

what to do about it.  paid allowances etc. 

with no checks and how crime rates 

are are now ten fold etc. 


its quite normal to move

from the left in your twenties/thirties

when you have all these ideals

over towards

the right 

as you become the ones 

paying for it all

with your taxes. 

It’s fairly standard.

 something begging in the brain ... 


Leave him.

Yes.

(5 second pause)

Yes. Leave him.

Jo Malone Lime Basil Mandarin. 

Worn it since it was first brought out 

no other perfume like it. Nothing ever lasts on me.  


(A very long silence.) – 

OK. 

spathe 


I keep getting reels

short videos on Facebook

YouTube of these 'nonce stings'. 

who lets their child play Roblox 


their regulations

several accounts linked

to grooming.


Posing as a child 

in Roblox’s “therapy” experience, 

advised to run away from home 

he would come pick us up

so we could move into his basement

in exchange for paying rent

with our body. just the mouth ...

lips ... cheeks ...

jaws ... never ... what?

... tongue? ...

yes ... lips ...

cheeks ... jaws ...

tongue



Roblox’s 

“school simulator” game, 

no age restrictions.

In the game “Beat Up The Pregnant”

Yes. Terrible. 

Yes. 

Chemicals?

The other day in the UK
there was a troubling one
where the nonce is having a full on Tourette’s attack
while his poor mum
in the background doesn’t
know what to do. 
The ones where
there’s a partner
or parent responding to the situation,
or there’s a crowd involved to,
do make for better drama -
one clip had 900k views -
obviously it’s very sad for the relatives
shows the damage these men do to their own families
as well as their victims! 
With the better stings,
hunters are disciplined
in their righteous anger,
they’re very measured
get everything in order for the police.

just all part of the same wish to ... 

I don’t actually know whether

these confessions

are admissible in court?

But they have all the chat logs too.

Chat Logs.


I have known paedophile hunters'

to have been injured

when trapping their prey. 

That's avoidable. 

(Encountered in my professional capacity).  


not in the least ... ... so far ...... 

so far ... this other thought 

then … not a ... 

oh long after ... …Yes. Terrible. 

Yes. 


I am a bit wary of them 

for a number of reasons.

  

Some of them are obviously fake 

done for 'comedy'


Sake. 

It seems a bit virtue signalling 

bullying on behalf of the 'hunters' 

(like the episodes of Luther with the vigilante who made online videos)


I often wonder what motivation these guys have. 


I would not be the slightest bit surprised

if some of them were 

paedophiles themselves. 

all silent but for the buzzing ...

the so-called moving ... the

the buzzing ... so-called ...the

in the ears  .. yes ...th

all the time 


Videoing publishing seems 

to put them in the place of judge 

jury and is often 

for self aggrandisement.  


 so far ... then thinking ... oh long after... 

Let's be clear though, people 

who abuse children 

are execrable.  I need to do a 


exit but I dont. Is there a possibility of love.

... all the time buzzing …whole body 

I know an sen 'adult' 

was attacked by one of these groups. 

He was going to meet a girl for a tea party. 

It was obvious from the video 

he had no idea 

there was any malice 

in what he believed was happening. 

He said repeatedly they are going to have a picnic with tea and cake.  


The 'hunters' accused him of all sorts, he was so scared and confused. 


I taught him as a teen, 

this happened when he was 26, 

they made him out to be a predator 

he thought 

he was going for a tea party.  


He took his teddy 

thought she would be bringing hers 

they would be playing together. 

All of this was twisted 

for the video. 


He should have 

24 hour care 

but actually got 

2 visits a day. 

The rest of the time 

he was left to his own devices.

Resources resource's 

 Not unusual to have help from the public....

in all areas 

I think all child sexual abusers 

should be exposed. 

SEN or not, if you've committed a crime, 

zero sympathy if it's live streamed 

on social media. 


They shouldn't sexually abuse kids then.  

 I need to do a 

exit but I dont. 


The police don't have 

resources to keep up,

so general public step in.


.. all the time the buzzing ...


Someone's got to do something about it.

in the skull ... &

Fair play to them.

If so. 

AIBU?? 





Tuesday, 2 September 2025

01.09.25





01.09.25

The reality that no form of oppression cannot be alleviated by ready access to money seems to underline this overdetermination.

Marina Vishmidt 



The morning brings a frozen lake 

& stands in the huge embrace 

petrified beating on the soles 

of the feet an archive of  

omissions pale twilight 

accumulating with the idea 

of self-defence glen perishing 

provider of sloes  

overwebs, half-hidden

coloured dry of silver 

then black then below the cloud 

the human-centered city

in Vision 2030 Waltzing 

the code through music 

to the desired floor zerogravity 

urbanism tiny gap  

city has been stolen 

shrink & sink down into evening, 

singing silences touch  

in volumetric formate  

in compete & survive 

your extracts each decade 

SVU burns out your soul 

& it’s not possible to take it

you can either die 

or go somewhere else 

Triple Bottom Line 

spat its macadam of the whole world 

on us stuck there in gorse careering 

features needed in a snare 

pushed-out breath 

filled with lighter fluid 

loom stiff beneath 

the perfect angle,  

a thousand described routes

the side effect walls mirror facade

of birdsong dreamed away 

by birdsong 


01.09.25

 01.09.25



The reality that no form of oppression cannot be alleviated by ready access to money seems to underline this overdetermination.

Marina Vishmidt 


The morning brings a frozen lake 

& stands in the huge embrace 

petrified beating on the soles 

of the feet an archive of  

omissions pale twilight 

accumulating with the idea 

of self-defence glen perishing 

provider of sloes pleasure 

overwebs, half-hidden

coloured dry silver 

then black then below the cloud 

the human-centered city

in Vision 2030 Waltzing 

the code through music 

to the desired floor zerogravity 

urbanism tiny gap  

city has been stolen 

shrink & sink down into evening, 

singing silences touch  

in volumetric formate  

in compete & survive 

your extracts each decade 

SVU burns out your soul 

& it’s not possible to take it

you can either die 

or go somewhere else 

Triple Bottom Line 

spat its macadam of the whole world 

on us stuck there in gorse careering 

features needed in a snare 

pushed-out breath 

filled with lighter fluid 

loom stiff beneath 

the perfect angle,  

a thousand described routes

the side effects walls mirror facades

of birdsong dreamed away 

by birdsong 


Monday, 1 September 2025

30.08.25 (exception)

 30.08.25




The human race is at its best under a monarch.

Dante


Kayfabe through a ream of sunlight 

the spathe of my heart Mustaqbal

deglomeration don’t say that word to me 

syringed out PV-Wind-DG-Battery 

image classification 

literature waste collection in that order  

but leave me my love 

adapted into a technical principle 

& held in the advancement of  

a society on the Gulf of Aqaba 

Lagrangian alive in your mouth 

desk review under dusking trees

flood the zone with shit

cinema museum roof official nitrate air

of fate contaminants machine translations 

infernal strategies dark pathologies   

the beautiful vistas worldsick trypophobias 

swim in the ether of its linear composition 

the zenithal primed army 

the flight of birds crystalline soothed 

a giant artificial moon zero streets 

now paradised black minutes


30.08.25

 



30.08.25


The human race is at its best under a monarch.

Dante


Kayfabe through a ream of sunlight 

the spathe of my heart Mustaqbal

deglomeration don’t say that word to me 

syringed out PV-Wind-DG-Battery 

image classification

literature waste collection in that order  

but leave me my love 

adapted into a technical principle 

& held in the advancement of  

a society on the Gulf of Aqaba 

Lagrangian alive in your mouth 

desk review under dusking trees

flood the zone with shit

cinema museum

its roof official nitrate air

of fate contaminants

machine translations 

infernal strategies

dark pathologies   

the beautiful vistas

are worldsick trypophobias 

world culture hospital models 

swim in the ether of its linear composition 

zenithal primed army the flight of birds

crystalline soothed gravel drives 

curl into our chests

a giant artificial moon

zero streets now paradised

of black minutes

31.08.25

 


31.08.25


In the Vanta black nights

Domestication of Ice & Cold 

to be desired an ice palace 

all the rules of most modern architecture

apply here glycine mir hyperstition

True Right Correct Anyone 

or Anybody & Each & every & all  

again depots desiccated black snow falls 

nobody exists you have no choice 

the choice comes after 

Executive Order 13771 a tiny song 

who was able to measure 

& tame frost lives forever

in a vision of post-democratic future 

Vormärz Grodek Autumn Forest 

drone full of stars noon-marked 

cathedrals FTC & NIST starklight 

dancing on glass again 

the Vertical Community 

forged from cold metals 

frozen water sub-divided 

to the point where it becomes 

perfectly liquid again under 

marketplace Thomas Carlyle 

on how sacrifice might be visualised